Yep, that’s right, it is not the end of my adventure with “the good cancer”. I had the PET scan this morning and my radiologist friend had the pleasure of delivering the results to me. I had warned him that I expected the scan to be positive (more about that later) and it was. I didn’t go into great detail with him but there is apparently quite a bit of activity in my chest and low down on the right side of my neck. It’s not a shock to me but it is very, very annoying, to put it lightly. I wish I could be wrong with this self-diagnosing caper!
So, it looks like 2014 will not be the ‘annus mirabilis’ I was hoping for. I will now look forward to 2015.
I will know more when I see my haematologist so I will do one of my usual very lengthy posts then.
As my sister just posted on Facebook, FUCK YOU CANCER!!! And as my cancer sister Lisey commented “Cancer can go and fuck off and when it gets to there it can fuck off some more!”
I’ll get you this time you bastard!
Thank you every one for your thoughts and messages. Excuse me if I ignore phone calls today. I will talk when I know what the plan is.
Am with you all the way gorgeous girl Karine xxx
Thanks Karine. xx
Maintain the ‘good’ rage you possess Mel. You’ll win!!
Thanks David. I will maintain the rage and then some! xx
Oh Melissa
Fuck is all I can say too
Cancer is our bitch
And we will kick its arse
No that the people around you
Will always be there xxx thinking of u
Katie xxxxxx
Thanks Katie. I hope you are doing well. We will catch up soon, when school goes back. I’ll be in touch. xx
Thinking of you Melissa, .Noofa
My heart aches for u
I too am looking forward to 2015
More if this cancer shit
Will be before us
We can beat this together
Melissa it’s just a bitch
My little bit a cancer
And your good cancer
Can fuck off !!!!!!!!!!!!!
Keep sharing and no we all hear
It’s a black moon
New moon this week
Right your dreams and goals for next
Months
Burn it and give your cancer to the universe
Alone with your fear
U will beet this bitch
Xxxxxx katie
I’m so gutted. FUCK YOU CANCER!!!
I agree with you, xx
Totally ditto. x
Mel my heart hurts for you xx sending love and prayers . I’m going to look forward to 2015 too xx
I feel devastated, angry, sad and totally pissed off for you Princess. It’s just not fair 😢 Big love and hugs xxx
Well that bloody sucks. But our gut feelings are often spot on, when we can manage to separate them from our fears. Deep breathe. Onward. Fuck you to tears, cancer.
Sending my LOVE xx
Oh and that was meant to say deep breath. But, chemo brain. Fuck you again, cancer.
Shit news Mel and crap to read this latest post, thinking of you always, keep up the Fuck you cancer plans and you will beat it this time around xxx
Melissa. I rang you this morning about something completely else, So please ignore it This is hard news to take but you just might need some more treatment. From your blogs you are amazing and you just need some more chemo. I am thinking of you. Please call me if you want to talk about my chemo regime i had BEACOPP and then ABVD. Love Eve xoxo
3 days left until the end of the month I was thinking only 2 bad things have happen this month (as they say things happen in 3’s) – then the text message came from Papa Russ & I thought FUCK SERIOUSLY….I hate January 2014 you have sucked big time!!!!
Sending all our love to you xx
Could not believe your text this morning, so not fair. But it’s just a shitty setback. you will have to delay the celebrations a bit longer and just keep going. We are all so disappointed for you but you know we are all here for you and your Mum Jen Jo Mark and your kids and all of us who love you. Auntie Mary doesn’t use the F word very often but she was using language that would make a sailor blush. Fuck being the least. The adventure continues my sweet.
Proud of you Auntie Mary, these are the only.words we can use at the moment. Thought 2013 was bad, 2014 is worse.
Shit not what any of us wanted to read ditto to all the above much love the Cunningham Clan
Hang tuff Mate. We are thinking of you in your battle that we are sure, with all the positive energy around you, you WILL WIN.
REGARDS AND OUR LUV.
Waz and Di.
Hi Mel.
I am a total stranger to you. I’m friends with your cousin Becks here in Perth and she always posts your blig updates on Facebook. And I always read them. You see, i’m almost 34. And at 18, 3 days before Christmas, I was diagnosed with stage 2A Hodgkins. I was lucky enough to have an over cautious (locum) GP who sent me for an unnecessary xray after I went to see him with chest cramps which had already subsided (but hey, how hard is it to get the appt!?!?).
So your story is my own. 6 cycles, 12 treatments of ABVD. I have permanent skin pigmentation from the B, which meant I was allowed to opt out of B in my course of treatment.
All your posts have been my own thoughts. But in 1998, there were no blogs. Which can make googling your symptoms and finding support very difficult!
Then, after losing my dad to a rare metastisised (sp?) tumour after 10 years of battling in 2011 – my younger sister was diagnosed with stage 2A Hodkins in March 2012. Again, your story was hers. Same treatment, same follow up, same feelings, same same same. there is too much SAME when it comes to cancer.
But I’ve been in full remission (I call it cured) since August 1999. And my sister is not only clear since November 2012, but her first baby is due this May.
So while your current outcome is not the same as ours, there is always always hope. Hope in the amazing medical research. Hope in the treatment. Hope in the testing and diagnostic tools. Hope in homeopathic and natural treatments. Hope in your family, friends and sometimes total strangers who are willing you onto good health. Your life will never be the same. I’m a survivor. My family are survivors. And so are you and yours.
Thank you for sharing your experience. Your thoughts, feelings, fears and hopes with the worrld. I can assure there will be some newly diagnosed person who will google Hodgin’s and find your blog. And it will be of huge comfort. And it will bring them strength.
So thanks Mel. And know that even strangers are thinking of you and looking on with love and admiration on your amazing journey with “the good cancer”.
xx Anita Carver
my beautiful Edie – thank you for sharing this.
you are an amazing person yourself xx
Thought you been thru enough but I guess not just another hic cup along the way were all thinking of you fuck cancer seems to be the word not that I like using it but as I,m known as uncle fucker I can love to you see you all soon
XXX. With you all the way. Michelle & Ev.
Really crappy craptastic news 😦 sending you wishes from UK, you’re def gonna give this nasty HL a hard time now. Kick it right where it hurts.
Hi Mel. Just saw this link posted by an old high school friend and the title caught my eye – and knew it had to be you. Shitty to read your update. Wish I had comforting words, but we know it’s simply fucked. Swear, curse, cry, rant…then stick out those veins and get fighting. Thinking of you, Tina
Wow what a great message from Anita. Hope all these messages lift you well and truly up. Cx
Shit news Mel. No other useful words right now!that’s just simply shit! One foot in front if the other. That was my mantra! Warm fuzzies. A
Hi Mel days on reading ur blog
I can never imagine wheeee u mind is
Words are the only thing that may
Help ,, ur strong young beauitiful
Person
Believe in angels call them in to help you
You will beat this cancer bitch xx
Hi Katie, I have never met you, but thanks for caring about Melissa. My thoughts are with you also, xxx
My lov and prayers are with you and. Ur family loved Melissa and fab sister Jen the first time we met
As a parent it’s heartbreaking to watch our children suffer
My heart aches for you as a mother
We will fight on and beet this cancer bitch take care and no the angels are there to help us x regards katie
Well it’s just luck it’s such a bloody good cancer isn’t it!! Again, you didn’t tell anyone what you feared and mostly knew… Your self diagnosis was correct. Cousin, I had fears that you knew this – when we spoke, and I wanted to be so sure (because I would know), that it had to be clear. Jesus – you did your time, 12 treatments?! Watching you go through this is gut wrenching but also inspiring on a whole different level, and again, easy for me to say… Cous, you are amazing and not because you have cancer – as we can see lots of “lucky” people get, but because you get up and you get on with it. You came home yesterday after receiving the news and asked where lunch was as you were hungry,(quite rude looking back actually), you told your daughter privately and walked out laughing because she couldn’t quite comprehend… Laughing? You jumped in the pool with your kids and just went about life – fucking amazing…you knew the results and you didn’t want to worry “everyone else”, you are going through the hardest time of your life, and not just with fucker cancer, and you can hold your head up high, you have pride, dignity and strength and I know that if anyone can fuck cancer off it is you. xxxx
Well said Sonya and thanks for caring for your fav aunt xx
Dear Melissa, am sorry to hear you have another shitty year ahead. Our thoughts are with you. Xxxx
Keep swinging Melissa – like Tippo and I – it is just there to test your resolve.
Hi, I just stumbled across your blog today, it’s an amazing read and as another Hodgkin’s suffer I can totally relate to it. I’m so sorry to hear about your positive PET result but you seem a very strong and resilient person so you battle on and you beat this horrible thing.
I’ve got my PET scan today myself so feeling all those nervous feelings, no idea what the result is going to be but what ever it is we all have to just look this thing in the face and battle on.
I was hoping for you that your blog would be in the remission writing phase as I entered my chemo beginning- I’m sorry to hear this. F**K YOU CANCER! I will be cheering you on and swearing at your cancer from over here 🙂
Hi Mel: I just came happened upon your blog this evening. I too have H.L. NS, stage IV, failed ABVD, considered Refractory. I chose to not pursue treatment but I did want you to know that there is a very good facebook group – Hodgkin’s Disease, Refractory & Relapsed (when the good cancer sucks!). They have a wealth of information with about a 1000 members from all over the world. I do not participate much in the group since I do not get any treatment, but most of them have had an autologous or an allogeneic transplant and of course since they are refractory a life time of chemo. I just thought I would pass this info on just in case you are not a member. I could not figure out how to email you and would have preferred not to put this in the comments (sorry) . In case you are needed more info, I am at shadow_77_88@hotmail.com.
Julie Evans, Canada